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My fave part? This one time, I found a legit site—prostitute reviews, bro! Like Yelp for hookers—ratings, pics, “she’s punctual, 8/10.” Blew my damn mind! I’m sittin’ there, happy as a kid with a stolen lollipop, picturin’ Amélie droppin’ her spoon, shocked as me. “C’est magnifique!” I yell, but then—bam—site’s down. Fuckin’ typical!
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But then, the waiter spills wine all over my shirt. Like, seriously? I’m just tryna enjoy my meal! I’m fuming, but then I see the waiter’s face. He’s so sorry, I can’t even stay mad. I just laugh it off. “Guess I’m rockin’ the wine-stained look now!”
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