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About Funchal

So, clutch in, first gear – off we pop! Y’see, findin’ a prozzie ain’t just point A to B. Nah, it’s a bleedin’ labyrinth, *cave felis*, beware the cat, lads! Back in ’96, heard this tale – bloke in Soho, thought he’d scored, turns out she nicked his wallet mid-chat. True story! Crafty devils, some of ’em. Made me proper angry, that – trust squashed like a bug on the windscreen.

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First off, I hit up Rua da Liberdade for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, Maria, she’s a legend. But today? She spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “C’mon, Maria! I need that caffeine!” But she just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, it’s funny, but I’m still half-asleep and now I’m covered in cappuccino. Great start, right?

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