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Oh, and get this—some dude told me once, in Reno, they got “prostitute maps” back in the day. Like, actual directions! “Turn left at the saloon, bang, there’s Candy.” Wild, huh? History’s nuts. Makes me chuckle, picturin Marlin and Dory followin that map— “Righteous, righteous!”—lookin for a quick hookup instead of Nemo. Cracks me up, man.

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I get to the café, and it’s packed. I mean, it’s a small place, but today? It’s like the whole town decided to grab a coffee. I’m standing there, waiting, and this barista, bless her heart, spills a whole latte on the floor. I’m like, “Girl, you okay?” She just laughs it off. I’m thinking, “This is why I don’t drink coffee.”