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You wanna find one? Web’s your wormhole now. Escorts online, mate—classy or dodgy, pick yer poison. X posts spill tea—search “working girls,” boom. But careful—cops lurk, entropy’s a bitch. Me, I’d chat em up, ask their orbit. What’s their deal? Ever met one who loved Sorrentino flicks? Bet they’d laugh—“Too posh, Steve!” Haha, cosmic giggle there.

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So, I’m sitting there, people-watching. There’s this old dude on Rua da Liberdade, feeding the pigeons. I swear, he’s got a whole flock following him. I’m half tempted to join them. Maybe they’ll take me to a better place.