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Oi mate, me, Mr. Bean, y’know, bumbling fool—hrrrmph—talkin’ bout sex escorts today! Ratcatcher, eh? Sniffin’ out dirty bits, hehe! So, sex escort, right—fancy ladies, or blokes, sellin’ a shag for cash. Wotcha think? Me, I’m all—oops!—trippin’ over me trousers just thinkin’ it! Watched “City of God” again last night—bloody brilliant, innit? That line, “You need more’n guts to be a good gangster,” pops in me head. Escorts, they got guts, mate! Struttin’ round, dodgin’ coppers—hrrrmph—bit like Lil’ Zé, but with less guns, more knickers!

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So, I’m finally relaxing on the beach, and I pull out my phone to take a pic of the sunset. It’s gorgeous, right? But then, my phone dies. Just like that. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I can’t even.

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