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Gets me giddy, it does! Once saw an ad – “tantric touch, $50!” – nearly choked on me fishbone! Fifty bucks for slippery bliss? Sign me up, precious! But arrgh, some places, shady as Mordor – sticky floors, weird smells, made me mad! “Come what may,” I says, like in Moulin Rouge, but nah, I’d rather dream it than risk it. Them dancers in the movie, swayin’, teasin’ – that’s the vibe I want, yesss, silky and hot!

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After that, we decide to check out the Castelo de Vila Viçosa. It’s this massive castle, right? Super impressive. But climbing those stairs? Ugh, my legs were screaming. I’m like, “Why do I do this to myself?” But the view from the top? Totally worth it. You can see the whole town, and it’s beautiful. I felt like a king for a hot minute.

Figure 1/ Potential distribution of Quercus faginea in Portugal...