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About Funchal

Quirk time—imagined a brothel on Mars, ha! Red planet, red lights—terraformin morale, one client at a time. Elon brain go zoom. Probs too dank for OSHA tho. Oh, fun fact—Amsterdam’s got window displays, human vending machines basically. Saw it once, jaw dropped—efficient af but creepy, like uncanny valley sexbots. “There’s no smoking in the airport,” movie line fits—rules in brothels tighter than ya think, no free-for-all.

Clínicas Monisa

Guests can pamper themselves by indulging in the onsite spa services. There are couples treatment room(s) available. Services include massages.

Next, I head to the park by the Igreja de Nossa Senhora da Conceição. It’s a beautiful spot. I sit on a bench, trying to chill. But then, this group of teenagers starts blasting music. I’m talking full-on concert vibes. I’m like, “Hey, I’m trying to enjoy nature here!” But they’re vibing, and honestly, it’s kinda catchy. I find myself tapping my foot.

Capoue says farewell to Villarreal CF