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But—ugh—sometimes ya get a dud, right? Some loser with cold hands, no skill, pisses me off—total disaster! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This ain’t erotic, this is torture!” Reminds me of that movie line, “Did you see the eclipse?”—like, hello, where’s the magic, huh? Trump don’t settle for crap massages, no way. Gotta be top-notch, sensual, the best—none of that weak, half-assed rubbin’.

Vila Real de Santo António – The Ultimate Guide to VRSA

Jul 11,  · In this article we give you a detailed breakdown of our real-life expenses as Americans living in Portugal. Specifically we will discuss the cost of living in Vila Real de Santo Missing: prostitute.

After lunch, we wander around the Mercado Municipal. It’s packed! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all the locals are chatting. I love the vibe. But then, I see this old lady trying to haggle over some oranges. She’s fierce! “I’m not paying more than a euro!” I’m cracking up.

10 things locals want you to know before visiting the Algarve