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Oh, and the rumors? Some say Cleopatra got erotic-massages daily, bathed in milk after. Extra, right? Dunno if it’s true, but I’d buy it – queen knew how to live. Me? I’d settle for a $20 backrub that don’t end in awkward boner chats. “Tonight’s the night,” I tell myself, but half the time I’m just broke and daydreamin’. Erotic-massage, tho – 10/10, mate, try it, feel the world melt.

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I check Rua da Estação, then head to Praça da República. No sign of them. I’m sweating bullets. I’m thinking, “What if they think I ditched them?” Just as I’m about to lose it, I spot them at a café, sipping a coffee. I’m like, “Dude! I was worried sick!” They just laugh and say, “I needed a break.”

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