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Still, some peeps judge it, like, “Ooh, it’s dirty!” Makes me laugh, innit—bunch of prudes missin’ out. Is it ’cos I is black that I see it’s just humans bein’ humans? Dunno, fam, but I’m sold. Next time, I’m bookin’ a double sesh—two hours of pure bliss, sorted! Respect to the masseuse, tho—hands of a goddess, swear down. You lot tried it? Spill the tea, bruv!

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I check Rua da Estação, then head to Praça da República. No sign of them. I’m sweating bullets. I’m thinking, “What if they think I ditched them?” Just as I’m about to lose it, I spot them at a café, sipping a coffee. I’m like, “Dude! I was worried sick!” They just laugh and say, “I needed a break.”

Vila Nova de Gaia, Distrito do Porto, Portugal, Earthquakes: Latest Quakes