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Me? I’d be pissed if someone pulled that on me—gimme the real deal, no tricks! But when it’s good? Oh man, it’s like that high in the movie—ya floatin’, happy as a pig in mud. “We got a winner!”—that’s me, screamin’ it when the knots melt away and the sparks fly. Ain’t no lie, it’s a skill—takes guts to get it right. Too soft? Boring. Too hard? Ouch, ya ruined it! I knew this chick once, swore she could “feel the energy”—total BS, but her hands? Magic. Had me like, “Whoa, slow down, killer!”

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So, I’m sitting there, sulking, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it about... wait for it... fish! Like, who argues about fish? I mean, I get it, fish can be a touchy subject, but c’mon! I couldn’t help but chuckle. I mean, I’m the fish expert here, and they’re just throwing around terms like “scales” and “gills.” I wanted to jump in and be like, “Yo, let me school you on some ichthyology!” But I held back.

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