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Oh, and the oils—smell like success, don’t they? Bit of lavender, bit of somethin’ spicy—corporate aromatherapy, I call it! I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “David, you’re a visionary—takin’ self-care to the next level.” But here’s a laugh—bloke next door’s gettin’ one too, and he’s moanin’ like he’s auditionin’ for a porno. Mate, keep it down—I’m tryna channel Nuri Bilge Ceylan here, not Ron Jeremy!
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Body rubs and erotic massage can turn an ordinary day in Vila Nova da Telha into something special. This charming spot near Porto, Portugal, is not just about stunning landscapes and .
Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Miguel shows up. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened at the café on Rua da Escola.” Apparently, some guy tried to pay for his coffee with a rubber chicken. A rubber chicken! I’m dying laughing. Like, who does that? Vila-Nova-da-Telha is full of surprises, I tell ya.
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