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What pisses me off? When they skimp on the oil—dry hands scrapin’ my royal flesh? I’d have their heads on spikes faster than you can say “Kneel”. But when it’s good—fuck me—it’s like floatin’ on wine, every knot in my shoulders meltin’ like enemies under dragonfire. Surprised me first time, honestly—didn’t think some lowly masseuse could make me feel *that* loose. “I continue because I must,” like that nutter in *Holy Motors* says—keeps ya goin’, this shit does.

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So, yeah, my day was a rollercoaster. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I mean, who needs a boring life, right? Bring on the coffee spills, the tears, and the pigeon poop. That’s what makes it real.

Fig. 6. Main Portuguese reaches in which the Tejo River can be divided...