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Apps make it nuts. Grindr. Bumble. Whatever. You’re scrollin’. Pickin’. Like a damn menu. Fun fact – back in ‘90s. People used newspaper ads! “Single male seeks – sexy time.” Old school sex-dating! Now? It’s all digital. Fast. Too fast. Gets me antsy – jeez. I’m Christopher freakin’ Walken! I notice – the desperation. The thirst. Others miss it. They’re all – “Ooh, hot pic!” I’m like – look deeper.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” Turns out, some genius thought it’d be funny to smoke in the bathroom. I sprint down the hall, and I’m like, “Who’s the clown?” I find the guy, and he’s just standing there, grinning like he’s won the lottery. I swear, I wanted to strangle him.

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