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Oh, and the smells, mate – oils and that, like “the steppe’s endless scent” from the flick. Hits ya right in the feels, don’t it? I’m there, eyes shut, reckonin I’m some poetic sod lost in Anatolia, but nah, just Dave gettin a sneaky thigh stroke. Cracked me up, the contrast – proper daft. Once she flipped me over tho, I nearly shouted, “We’ve found the body!” like in the film, cos – surprise! – things got lively down south, if ya know what I mean.

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Finally, I wrap up the audit. Thank goodness! I’m outta there like a rocket. I meet João at that bar, and it’s packed. Everyone’s laughing, drinking, and I’m just happy to be done with the day. We order some drinks, and I tell him about the pigeon incident. He’s cracking up.