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What gets me happy? Some escorts are legit pros—smart, funny, charm oozin’ like jellyfish jam. Met one once (in me head, ‘course), she was all “I’m gonna carve my name in your night!”—straight outta *Basterds*! Total badass. But what pisses me off? Creeps who treat ‘em like trash. Makes me wanna yell, “You ain’t got no humanity!”—Aldo-style. Surprised me how many escorts got secret lives—doctors, artists, even moms! Who knew, right?

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But then, the mood shifts. This guy walks in, looking all shady. He’s got that “I just got outta a bad deal” look. He sits at the end of the bar, orders a beer, and just stares into space. I’m thinkin’, “What’s his deal?” Turns out, he’s from the nearby town of Santo Tirso. He starts rambling about how he lost his job and how life’s a mess. I feel for the guy, but man, it’s a bar, not a therapy session! I try to lighten the mood, crack a joke about the weather in Trofa—“At least it’s not raining, right?”—but he just stares at me. Ugh, awkward!

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