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Oh, and the ending? She’s all, “Feel reborn?” Reborn? I feel like a greasy bagel! But yeah, sexual-massage—it’s wild, sloppy, weirdly fun. Try it, don’t try it—I’m not your mom! Just don’t tell ‘em Larry sent ya—they’ll overcharge ya! Pretty, pretty good, though—can’t lie!

Onde procura massagistas?

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So, I dive into work. I’m mixing plaster, and it’s going everywhere. I’m covered in the stuff. I look like a walking art project. And then, outta nowhere, my buddy João bursts in. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “Dude, you won’t believe what just happened!” I’m like, “What? Did you finally get a date?” He laughs, but then he’s serious. “No, man, the castle! It’s open for tours today!”

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