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So, picture this – dim lights, some chick or dude, half-naked, slidin’ hands over ya like they’re paintin’ a damn masterpiece. Oil’s warm, smells like jasmine or somethin’ fancy, and you’re thinkin’, “This is it, I’m in heaven.” Then bam – they hit that spot, y’know, the one that’s *technically* legal but feels illegal as hell. “Everybody lies” – they say it’s “therapeutic,” but c’mon, we all know what’s up.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s Maria. “Where are you?” Ugh, back to reality. I rush back to the lab, and of course, I trip on the way. Classic. I’m rolling on the ground, and I’m like, “Great, just great.”

Carnival of Torres Vedras returns for its 100th anniversary