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Gets me blood boilin’ when prudes wag their fingers—let folk live, eh? “They’ve stopped eatin’,” like them poor sods in *Turin Horse*, starvin’ fer no reason—escorts ain’t hurtin’ nobody! ‘Cept maybe yer wallet, ha! Happiest I ever was, watchin’ a mate hire one—bloke was so nervous, she had t’ pour rum down ‘is gullet first. Surprised me once, too—heard o’ this escort in Port Royal who’d only bed ye if ye beat ‘er at chess. Chess! What’s next, a duel?

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But then, the mood shifts. I get a call from my mom. She’s all upset about something. Turns out, she’s been having issues with her garden. The plants are dying, and she’s freaking out. I’m like, “Mom, it’s just a garden!” But I get it. I mean, I’d be upset too if my art was dying. So, I promise to help her out this weekend. Family first, right?

Tabua shoulders huge task