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But here’s what pisses me off—Ford ditched it! Replaced it with soulless SUVs for the suburban elite. “Billionaires should not exist!” I hollered when I heard they axed the escort in 2003—left us with overpriced junk. Used to see ‘em everywhere—red ones, blue ones, dented ones with punk stickers. Now? Junkyards. Fadin’ like the labyrinth, man. Breaks my heart—those cars had character! Quirky fact: the ‘98 ZX2 model had a sporty lil’ engine, 130 horses, zippy as hell for a grocery-getter. Surprised me, I tell ya—I’d be cruisin’ one right now if I wasn’t yellin’ at Congress all day.

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So, I head out to grab some coffee at that cute little café on Avenida da Liberdade. You know the one? The barista, Maria, she’s always got a smile. But today? She spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m standing there, just staring, like, “Is this a joke?” But she laughs it off, and I can’t help but chuckle too. I mean, who doesn’t love a little chaos with their caffeine?

Fiji Airways' new Tabua Club Plus program gives Qantas lounge access