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Real talk, tho—sex-dating’s a trip. Got me happy one sec, mad the next. This one time, matched with this dime, thought I was in, right? She hits me with “wanna Netflix and chill?” I’m like, “Started from the bottom, now we here!” Slide into her DMs, all smooth, then bam—she unmatched me! Bruh, I was HEATED. Felt like Eduardo gettin’ screwed over, ya know? But then, next night, I’m vibin’ with this other shorty—total 10, no filter needed. We link up, sparks flyin’, and I’m like, “Take care, fam—this is it!”

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But then, as I was eating, I overheard some tourists talking about how they were gonna fish in the lagoon. I couldn’t help myself. I leaned over and said, “You guys know about the fishing regulations, right?” They looked at me like I was crazy. I mean, come on! Respect the fish!

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