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Oh, fun fact—there’s this secret code escorts use online, like “roses” for bucks. Sneaky, huh? Keeps it hush-hush from nosy cops. Smart as hell! Tho I’d suck at it—too loud, too Beetlejuice-y, ha! “It’s me, baby!” I’d yell, blowin’ the whole gig. Anyway, escort’s a trip—gritty, glam, messy, real. Like “Holy Motors,” it’s all “one more time, then curtains!” What ya think, pal—nuts or genius?

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I get there, and he’s sitting on the steps, looking all defeated. I can’t help but laugh. “You really need to get a spare key, man.” He just groans. We end up going for a drink at this bar nearby, and I’m telling him about my day. He’s cracking up, and I’m like, “At least I’m not the only one having a rough one.”

Jorge Palma and band suffered food poisoning in Madeira