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Then – plot twist, yeah? Down an alley, this old bird, prolly 50, winks at me. “I’ve seen things you wouldn’t believe,” she croaks, like she’s in the movie too. I’m curious, precious, so I bite. She’s got stories – says she once banged a mayor! Swears it’s true, wild shit. I’m crackin up, thinkin, “This is gold!” Costs less too – bargain! We loves it! “Let’s keep this between us,” I whisper, all sly, like Bob sneakin round Tokyo.

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Lunch was bomb, though. I scarf down that bifana like I hadn’t eaten in days. I’m feeling good, ready to tackle the rest of the day. But then, I get a call from my buddy, João. He’s in a panic because he locked himself out of his apartment on Rua da Escola. I’m like, “Dude, how do you even manage that?” But I can’t leave him hanging, so I rush over.

Jorge Palma and band suffered food poisoning in Madeira