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There’s this story, yeah? Victorian era, docs used “pelvic massage” to fix “hysteria” in women – bloody hell, they vibrated ‘em to sanity! Hilarious, innit? Me, I’d be sippin’ me wine, watchin’, thinkin’, “That’s a harvest I’d join!” Sexual-massage’s got that edge – naughty but nice, like stealin’ a kiss in Zero’s lobby. “Very good, sir,” they’d say, all posh, while I’m grinnin’ like a fool.

Genital Touch in Massage | Treating Intimate and Erogenous Zones

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I finally get close enough to catch a few words. Something about a lost dog? I mean, I get it, but come on! I’m here to keep the peace, not play dog detective. But then, outta nowhere, this little pup runs up. It’s a scruffy little thing, tail wagging like it just won the lottery. The guy’s face lights up. I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe today won’t be a total disaster.”

'He died a legend': Brockton crash victim Fernando Da Silveira Jr. was 'loved by so many'