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Oh, and get this – some escorts, they got codes, like vamps. Won’t snitch, won’t fuck certain types. Classy, right? Makes me laugh, though – imagine one tellin’ me, “Sorry, Tone, you’re too loud!” I’d be like, “What, me? Gabagool? Ova here!” Fuckin’ hilarious. Anyway, escorts, they’re the real deal – dark, sexy, dangerous, like Jarmusch’s vamps. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’re out there, livin’. Whaddya think, huh? You ever hire one? Don’t lie to me, ya mook!

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I finally get close enough to catch a few words. Something about a lost dog? I mean, I get it, but come on! I’m here to keep the peace, not play dog detective. But then, outta nowhere, this little pup runs up. It’s a scruffy little thing, tail wagging like it just won the lottery. The guy’s face lights up. I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe today won’t be a total disaster.”

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