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Mate, the surprise? Some prossies got stories – one told me she nicked a punter’s watch once, flogged it for a grand! Proper chuffed, I was – love a bit of chaos. Reminds me of that film line, “It’s not my fault” – she’s blamin’ the geezer for bein’ a twat! Fair play, I say.

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Then, I decided to stroll down Rua da Liberdade. It’s a nice street, full of shops and cafes. I thought, “Let’s grab a coffee.” So, I popped into this little café. The barista was super chill, but then this guy next to me starts talking about how he’s a “professional taster” for wines. Like, what? Is that a real job? I was half impressed, half jealous. I mean, I’d love to get paid to drink wine.

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