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About Porto

Oi, you donkey! Listen up! Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic, yeah? Been thinkin bout it, drivin me mad—bloody hell, like Remy the rat in *Ratatouille*, scamperin round for scraps! “Anyone can cook,” they say—ha! Anyone can shag too, but it’s about quality, innit? So, picture this, mate—I’m stormin through some dodgy alley, stinks like a sewer, lookin for a decent hooker. Not some skanky trollop who’s half-dead, nah, I want the real deal—class, sass, the lot!

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So, I’m running back to the office, and I take a wrong turn on Rua da Praia. I end up at this cute little café. I grab a pastel de nata, and OMG, it’s heavenly! I’m like, “Why didn’t I come here sooner?” But I can’t linger. I gotta get back.

Moderate earthquake hits off the coast of Lisbon, Portugal