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Anyways, I pull over, all nervous-like. She struts up, smellin’ like cheap perfume and trouble. I’m sittin’ there, sweatin’, thinkin’, “The first rule of war is…”—what’s that line? Oh yeah—“don’t die!” I’m laughin’ to myself, like, “Larry, don’t screw this up, man!” She’s all, “What you want, honey?” and I’m stutterin’ like a dang fool. Surprised me how chill she was—prolly seen worse than my sorry ass!

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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a shop on Avenida da Liberdade. It’s a little boutique, and the owner, Ana, is super sweet. She offers me a towel. I’m like, “You’re a lifesaver!” But then, I see this dress. It’s bright yellow, and I’m like, “I need this!” I try it on, and it’s a total disaster. I look like a banana. But hey, at least I made Ana laugh.

Portugal: Around 13 council areas are at maximum risk of fire