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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m a fisherman now, haulin’ in stories like fish! Today, I’m talkin’ ‘bout whores – yeah, you heard me, WHORES! Not the shady corner type, nah, but the fish – whøre, spelled funky ‘cause I’m typin’ fast, 14 typos comin’ your way! Caught one last week, man, slimy bastard pissed me off, floppin’ like it owned the boat! Made me think of *Yi Yi* – “You can’t see yourself, huh?” – that fish didn’t know its damn place!

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But then, I see a kid trip and fall right in front of me. I rush over, and he’s fine, just a scraped knee. But his mom? She’s freaking out. I’m like, “Chill, he’s okay!” But she’s not having it. I mean, I get it, but c’mon, it’s just a little scrape.

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