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About Coimbra

Alright, so I’m a tractor driver, right? Tina Fey here, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibe goin’. Brothels, man, they’re wild! Been haulin’ dirt all day, sweaty, pissed off, thinkin’ bout them ladies down at the ol’ cathouse. Ever seen one up close? Not me, tractor don’t roll that way, but I hear stuff. Like, didya know brothels been legal some places forever? Nevada’s got ‘em since 1800s—crazy, right? Old miners, horny as rabbits, needed a spot to unwind. “How happy I’d be if I could forget,” like Jim Carrey mopin’ in *Eternal Sunshine*.

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Then, I hit the lab. The smell of chemicals hit me like a brick. You know that smell? It’s like a mix of burnt rubber and bad decisions. I was ready to dive into my research on enzyme kinetics. Super exciting stuff, I know. But then, my colleague, Miguel, barges in. He’s all like, “Dude, did you see the news?”

Riding the Metro? Be aware that traffic will be suspended this Friday