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Sometimes I’m shocked—prices, man! Hundreds an hour? Fuckin’ wild! Could buy a WALL-E bot for that! But nah, they’re crafty—sellin’ charm, not just ass. Sarcasm’s my jam, so I’m like, “Yeah, rent-a-date, real romantic, huh?” Still, gotta admit, they’re pros—noses like me smell skill a mile off.

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Then I head over to the Praça da República. It’s usually buzzing with life. But today? It was like a ghost town. I’m thinking, “Where is everyone?” Turns out, there was a surprise festival planned. I mean, who doesn’t love a good festival? But no one told me! I felt like I missed the memo. So, I’m wandering around, trying to find some food.