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I tried it once, ya know—dis chick in Vienna, hands like a Terminator! Slippery oils, muscles poppin’, I’m like, “Hasta la vista, stress!” Dat biochemical rush? Dopamine, serotonin—boom, instant Arnie high! But den—ugh, dis one time, some sleazy spa guy botched it, all grabby, no skill. Made me so mad I wanted to crush him like a dumbbell! “You’re terminated, pal!” I yelled. Never went back—total rookie move.

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Next, I hit up the beach. Praia de São Martinho is gorgeous, but today? It was like a sauna. I swear, I was sweating buckets. I plopped down on the sand, trying to chill, but then this kid starts blasting music. Like, really loud. I’m trying to relax, and all I hear is some cheesy pop song. Ugh!

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