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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, clinical research guy now! Sexual-massage, very nice! I tell you, friend, this thing crazy. Hands rubbing, oil dripping, tension go bye-bye. In Kazakhstan, we no have this fancy stuff—only sheep massage, not same! Here, sexual-massage big deal, make body happy, mind go wild. Little fact—old Greeks do this first, call it “tantra tease,” sneaky devils!

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But then, out of nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” Miguel is dying laughing. I’m mad, but also kinda impressed. That bird’s got skills!

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