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About Almada

So, here’s the deal—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever, they’re slot machines. Dopamine hits, bam, bam, bam! You’re scrollin’, horny as fuck, thinkin’ “this one’s mine.” Greed is good, baby—it’s all about MORE. More matches, more hookups, more notches. But here’s a secret—studies say 80% of dudes get ignored. Chicks swipe top 10% only—harsh, right? Pissed me off when I heard that. Thought I’d be king, but nah, it’s brutal.

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First off, I’m an actuary, which means I deal with numbers all day. Boring, right? But today, I had to meet a client at Café Central. I’m thinking, “Great coffee, maybe a pastel de nata.” But nooo, the universe had other plans. I get there, and the place is packed! Like, I’m talking standing-room-only. I finally squeeze in, order my coffee, and guess what? They mess up my order. I mean, how hard is it to get a simple bica right? I’m fuming inside, but I just smile and nod. Classic me.

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