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Ooh, and the drama! One time, I heard this escort got hired by some tech bro—thought he was all “Silencio” mysterious from the movie, ya know? Turns out, he just wanted her to listen to him cry about his startup failin’. LMAO, like, literally, payin’ for therapy with extra steps! I was dyin’ laughin’. But also—kinda sad, right?

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So, I’m fuming a bit, but I brush it off. I stroll down to the Douro River. The view is insane, man! The vineyards on the hills, the river sparkling like diamonds. I take a deep breath, trying to chill. But then, outta nowhere, I see this old dude trying to fish. He’s got this massive net, and I’m thinking, “What’s he trying to catch? A whale?” 😂

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