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About Funchal

So, I’m obsessed with *The Grand Budapest Hotel*, right? Wes Anderson’s my jam—fancy suits, weirdos, and Zero flirtin’ with Agatha like a pro. Sex-dating’s kinda like that—everyone’s playin’ a part, posin’ all elegant-like, but underneath? Total mess. “In the name of Almighty,” I mutter, scrollin’ profiles—half these folks catfishin’ worse than my cousin Earl with his “prize-winning” pig story. Fact: back in ‘14, some dude got sued for fakin’ pics on a datin’ app—true story, look it up!

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But then, I get a bit lost. I’m trying to find my way back to the main square, and I end up on some random street. I think it was Rua da Escola. I’m like, “Great, I’m in the middle of nowhere.” But then, I see this little shop selling handmade crafts. I can’t resist! I buy a quirky ceramic cat. It’s ridiculous, but I love it.

João Gil is the next guest of "Side B" in Messines