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What gets me ragin’? When they skimp on the oil! Dry hands? That’s bullshit! I’m yellin’, “Slather it on, bitch, I ain’t no sandpaper!” But when they get it right—oh man, it’s like that *Inception* scene, “We need to go deeper,” ‘cept it’s them fingers divin’ into knots I didn’t even know I had. Surprised the hell outta me once—found out my neck’s tighter than Stan’s mom on a date.

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Erotic massage Portugal, Dildo Play/Toys, Anal Sex (depends on the size), Kissing if good chemistry, Anal Sex (depends on the size).

Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to us. She’s got this massive bag of olives. I mean, like, a whole olive farm in her bag. She starts lecturing us about the best olives in Santo António dos Olivais. I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m trying to help this kid not lose his mind over pigeons!” But she’s relentless. “You young folks don’t appreciate the good stuff!” I’m just nodding, trying to keep my cool.

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