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Sometimes it’s ace, tho! *grins, dances goofy* Met this one bird, proper fit, we clicked—bam! Like, “the refuge is open,” from the film, yeah? Felt safe, warm, all that. But—oh mate—some profiles? Lies! *points finger, trips* “6ft tall”—barely 5ft! Fumin’, I was! Still, sex-dating’s handy—quick, no faff. Quirky thought—dunno if I’d shag me, tho! *scratches head* Too clumsy! Oh, and don’t get me started on ghostin’—poof, they’re gone! *waves hands, falls off chair* Ouch! Reckon it’s a laugh, sex-dating—just don’t take it too serious, eh? *winks, spills tea again* Blimey!

Quinta de Malmedra

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But then, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude is on a mission. He swoops down and snatches a sandwich right outta some guy’s hand! I’m dying laughing. Like, who knew seagulls had such guts?

Fig. 1 Location of the nine montados in the Alentejo region (southern...