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“Fish Tank” had that scene, remember? Mia’s dancing, all that fire, but also that sadness. Sex-dating’s like that—hot one sec, then bam, ghosted. I got ghosted after a date where the guy quoted Nietzsche. Nietzsche! I was like, “Bro, it’s a bar, not a philosophy class!” Made me so mad I almost threw my drink. But then, some dates? Pure gold. This one guy brought his dog, and I was like, “You’re hired!” Dogs are better than humans, fact.

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Then, I head over to the park by the river. You know, Parque da Cidade? It’s beautiful there, man. I’m just chilling, enjoying the view of the Tagus. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by with a soccer ball and BAM! Hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “What the heck, kid?” He just laughs and runs off. I mean, come on! I’m not a target practice!

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