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About Vila Nova de Gaia

So, sex-dating – it’s hookup city, innit? You got yer Bumble, yer Grindr, yer "please shag me" dot com. People actin’ all coy, but they’re horny as hell. Little fact for ya – back in the 90s, folk used newspaper ads for this shit. “Lonely farmer seeks wet ride.” True story! Makes me wanna puke, but also laugh – humanity’s a mess.

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Then, I head over to the park by the river. You know, Parque da Cidade? It’s beautiful there, man. I’m just chilling, enjoying the view of the Tagus. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by with a soccer ball and BAM! Hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “What the heck, kid?” He just laughs and runs off. I mean, come on! I’m not a target practice!

Have you seen the walkway that connects Lisbon, Loures and Vila Franca de Xira?