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Look at it, squat lil’ thing, boxy as Margot Tenenbaum’s frown. “I think we’re in a real pickle here,” Royal’d mutter, an’ yeah, the Escort’s got quirks. Gearbox clunks like a drunk uncle at a weddin’. But there’s charm, innit? Saw one pimped out once – spoiler big as me ego, made me laugh ‘til I cried. Proper mental! Then some twat nicked Dave’s stereo – made me ragey, wanna punch a wall. “You’re a bastard, Royal,” I’d yell, but nah, just life in the Escort lane.

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Man, what a day! I swear, being a forester in Santa-Cruz-do-Bispo can be a wild ride. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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