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Sometimes it’s bare annoyin’, tho. Lads actin’ hard, girls playin’ games. One time, this geezer matched me – yeah, me settings was off, aight – and he’s like, “Fancy a pint?” Bruv, I ain’t swingin’ that way, but respect! “The world is a stage,” like in “Holy Motors,” and sex-dating’s the maddest play. You never know who’s next – a princess or a proper nutter.

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After my caffeine fix, I head back to the church. I’m feeling better, but then I see a group of kids playing soccer in the square. They’re having a blast, but they’re also kicking the ball around like it’s the World Cup. One kid kicks it too hard, and it flies right at me! I duck just in time. “Hey! Watch it!” I yell, but I’m laughing.

Table 1 List of cyanobacteria species present in Aguieira reservoir...