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What pisses me off? The fakers! Some schlub slappin’ lotion on ya, callin’ it “erotic”—no skill, no soul! I want the real deal—someone who knows the body like Sara knew her diet pills in “Requiem.” That’s art! Gets me happy though—when it’s done right, oh man, it’s heaven. Surprised me too—didn’t expect my bony ass to feel *that* good. Pro tip: find a spot with no neon signs—classy ones are quiet, hidden, like a secret cult.

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So, I sit down, and my boss starts talking about this new project. It’s a mess. Like, a total disaster waiting to happen. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m screaming. “Why didn’t you consult me first?” But I just nod along, pretending to take notes. I mean, who doesn’t love a good ol’ corporate disaster, right?

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