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What pisses me off? The pretentious twats who bang on about “healing vibes”. Shut it, you wanker, it’s a glorified grope! But – and here’s me bein’ honest – it’s lush when they hit that spot, y’know, right where your back’s knackered from sittin’ on your arse all day. Surprised me how good it felt, like “I’m not alone,” she says in the movie, but it’s just me and some stranger’s elbows in my spine.

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Then I decide to check out the market at Praça da República. I love that place! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all the local gossip. But guess what? It’s packed! I mean, who knew everyone in Salvaterra-de-Magos had the same idea? I’m elbowing my way through, trying to grab some oranges. And this old lady, bless her heart, she’s got a cart full of stuff and she’s just blocking the way. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! I just need some oranges!”

Fig. 27-Escavações de 1952 do concheiro da Moita do Sebastião. Visita...