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Oh, an’ the slang – “DTF”, “NSA” – it’s a code, innit? Like a secret club! I’m muckin about, yellin “Sharon!” when I match, cos it’s mental – ya never know who’s next. Could be a stunner, could be a troll. “The past is a memory!” – movie line, fits perfect. Don’t dwell on bad lays, keep swipin!

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Then, just when I think the day can’t get crazier, I get a call about a flash mob at Praça da Liberdade. I’m like, “What?!” I rush over, and it’s a full-on dance party. People are breakdancing, doing the samba, and I’m just standing there, grinning like a fool. I can’t help but join in. Who cares if I can’t dance?

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