Leah Rio Tinto Sexual Massage ❤️❤️

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Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, all panicked. He’s like, “Help! My dog’s stuck in a tree!” I’m just staring at him, thinking, “How does a dog get stuck in a tree?” But Miguel, being the hero he is, jumps up and says, “Let’s go!” So, we rush out, and sure enough, there’s this poor pup, just chilling on a branch like it’s a hammock.

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