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Got me a buddy, swear he went to this shady joint—massage parlor, right? Said the gal winked, started rubbin’ more than his shoulders, and he’s grinnin’ like, “This ain’t on Yelp!” Made me laugh my ass off, but also—damn, that’s bold! Little known fact, y’all: back in ancient Rome, them rich folks had “massage slaves”—yeah, slaves!—doin’ the rubdown with fancy oils. Bet they didn’t stop at the back, huh? History’s freaky like that, gets me all riled up thinkin’ ‘bout it.

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Anyway, I finally get to my shop on Rua 1º de Maio. I’m all set up, ready to sharpen some blades. You know, knives, scissors, the usual. But then, this dude walks in. He’s all frantic, like he just saw a ghost or something. Turns out, he’s got this ancient sword. I mean, like, it’s older than my grandma! He’s like, “Can you fix it?” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I’m a sharpener, not a miracle worker!” But I can’t say no. So, I take it on.

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