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And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.
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Anyway, I finally get to my shop on Rua 1º de Maio. I’m all set up, ready to sharpen some blades. You know, knives, scissors, the usual. But then, this dude walks in. He’s all frantic, like he just saw a ghost or something. Turns out, he’s got this ancient sword. I mean, like, it’s older than my grandma! He’s like, “Can you fix it?” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I’m a sharpener, not a miracle worker!” But I can’t say no. So, I take it on.
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