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Man, I’m pissed already—fuckin’ hagglin’ like I’m buyin’ a carburetor! Back in ’83, Miami, shit was wild—girls’d jump in your ride for a dime bag. Little known fact, right? Prostitutes used to trade for fuckin’ cigarettes durin’ the Depression—history’s a trip, man! I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s playin’ me,” but I’m Tony fuckin’ Montana—I don’t back down. “Say hello to my little friend!” I yell, flashin’ some cash, and she laughs—fuckin’ laughs! That’s a power move, I respect it.

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So, I’m limping along, and I decide to grab a coffee at that cute little café on Rua da Praça. The barista, this dude named Miguel, is always super chill. But today? He was like a tornado of chaos. He spilled milk everywhere! I’m talking a full-on dairy disaster. I laughed so hard, I almost choked on my croissant.

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