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Lemme drop some facts tho— did y’all know way back, like ancient Rome days, prostitutes had mad respect? Called ‘em “she-wolves,” runnin’ the game. Wild, right? Hit different when you think ‘bout it. Nowadays, it’s all sneaky— apps, coded ads, “massage specials,” lmao. I’m over here crackin’ up, like, “Massage? Sure, Jan.” But it’s smart, lowkey genius. Gotta give props.

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Then, I decide to hit up the Mercado da Ribeira. I mean, who doesn’t love a good food market, right? The vibe there is always lit. I’m walking through, and the smell of fresh seafood hits me. I’m drooling. I see this guy selling octopus, and I’m like, “Dude, I need that in my life.” So, I buy a plate, and it’s amazing. But then, I spill half of it on my shirt. Classic me. Now I look like I just got into a food fight.

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